Bullying Facts is all about giving parents a place to start so you can understand the who, what, why and when of Bullying. It will give you the ability to better understand the issue and what your child might be experiencing.
The first place to start is with a definition. Bullying for our purposes involves only our child, tween, teen and occurs outside of our homes whether as the Bully or Bully Victim. There are many other instances of bullying but to keep it simple this is a good starting place.
“Any Actions that hurt either physically or emotionally or are perceived by the intended target as hurtful. Done repeatedly over time by one or more people directed at another person who has less power.”
I lead with this as I understand for many of us parents this is the crux. We have a lot to deal with as parents if Bullying is an issue for your child you want to know and help them:
Bullying does not happen in a vacuum. There are lots of circumstances that determine who will become a bully and who will become a target.
I have real difficulty with some of the available Bullying Statistics because I don’t know if the children being questioned have been educated or prepared in some way...Were they told it was confidential and they would not get in trouble. Do they think they had an argument with their bestie and she called them a name…And that is bullying? I know my 9 year old thinks this way.
Beware of any statistics you read and understand they can be biased to bolster up an opinion with a simple twist
There are 4 types of Bullying. Each has it's own cruelty but the fastest rising is cyber bullying.
1. Verbal Bullying: Is the most common and easiest to hide or misconstrue… Was that just a joke or was it meant to hurt?
2. Social/Relational Bullying: Is often the most complicated, hardest to detect and most cruel.
3. Physical Bullying: This is the most visible and easiest to identify. It has traditionally defined what bullying is all about
4. Cyber Bullying: Cyber Bullying is technology and social media based.
Unfortunately, bullying happens everywhere. At school, the mall, parties and other social situations and thanks to technology it can happen right in your child's bedroom.
The effects of Bullying can impact everyone—those who are targeted,
those who bully, and
those who see it happening.
It is linked to many problems with depression and lowered self esteem, alcohol, drug use and bullycide. This is not about having a bad day at school...Bullying can effect our children for the rest of their lives.
It is important to talk to kids. As parents we need to learn to listen and engage our children to determine whether bullying—or something else—is a concern.
Bullying may happen multiple times a day or once a week or month. It depends on the level of bullying.
assist in deciding the most appropriate solutions I have developed the 3 levels
of bullying. Keep in mind, I believe the bullying issue requires our attention
regardless of what level.
Level One: Generally starts with Verbal taunting or anonymous cyberbullying. It happens infrequently maybe once or twice a week and has been occurring from to 6-8 weeks.
Level Two: Generally a combines 2 types or more. Perhaps verbal bullying has escalated and the bully is now physically pushing your child etc. OR the anonymous cyber bullying has increased and bullies are isolating your daughter on the playground. It happens multiple times a week over 2 to 4 months period.
Level Three: Multiple types of bullying. Bullying is now occurring daily or multiple times a day and has been happening for more than 4 months.
Bullying happens for a multitude of reasons.
All children are simply trying to meet their needs. How they do this, how they are being parented and many other circumstances come in to play when considering why a specific child was chosen to be bullied or why a certain child becomes a bully.
Understanding bullying is a key step before we can take action. It is about so much more than just the facts. I believe
the lack of action about this issue is because we don’t really understand it
More Suggested reading
Bullying Prevention: Stop it before it starts
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