Bullying prevention building self esteem is one of the best solutions to prevent bullying.
If our children feel good about themselves they will be less likely to be targeted and less likely to feel a need to bully others.
It may be easier than you think. We can set up a way of parenting that will help our bullied children, support the bullies to change and encourage the audience to help.
We need to remind our children every day:
1) We believe in them-
Tell them: I believe in you. You are capable. You can do this.
Show them: Give love with no strings attached. Spend time together. Encourage them to take action, acknowledge what they did right and help them solve what is wrong but do NOT do it for them.
2) We trust them-
Tell Them: You can do this. I know you will do what is right.
Show Them: Be consistent so they know what to expect. Let them make their own decisions. Help them take responsibility and face the consequences for the good, the bad and the ugly .
3) We know they can handle life situations
Tell Them: You are a good decision maker. You know the difference between right and wrong.
4) We listen to them
Tell Them: How was your day today? What was the best part? What was the worst part? If you are asking and they are not answering you need to get your child to start talking to you.
Show Them: STOP. Whatever you are doing. STOP and give your child your attention. If you can’t stop in the moment tell your child…I am in the middle of something and I cannot give you my full attention can we talk about this after supper? Or in 10 minutes when I am done here? Make sure you do as you say and follow up on with the child about what they wanted to talk about
5) We care for them
Tell Them: I love you.
Show Them: Give hugs and kisses, smooth their hair, rub their back. Pay attention when they are hurting.
6) They are important to us:
Tell Them: What would I do without you? I am so happy you are in my life. How did I get so lucky?
Show Them: Make time in your schedule for one on one time. Do something with them that they believe is important.
7) Allow them to succeed and fail.
Tell Them: Let them know you are their for them in success and failure. "No matter what I have got your back."
Show Them: Provide activities and opportunities for them to build confidence in dealing with success and failure. Often times our best lessons are in the failures.
It is not enough to give them a roof over their heads and food in their bellies. In this day and age more than ever parents need to step up and become active in the lives of our children.
I am not asking you to be perfect. In fact, I believe in being an UN-Perfect parent. However, building self esteem will make all the difference in preventing bullying.
A child who gets assistance with building self esteem at home is more likely to be able to prevent bullying from starting and cope if they are bullied. They will be able to ask for help if they witness bullying because they know they will be heard. Bullies will see there are other ways to meet their needs if they are nurtured and supported.
Of course, even if you do the above your child could be bullied, bully others or standby and watch someone be bullied. Your child is only ½ of any relationship they engage in. If you are already working on building self esteem…Congratulations. If you are not... Well, it is never to late to start.