Understanding change

Understanding change can help parents deal with bullying.

The first thing I want you to understand is change is going to happen.  Something has to change or the bullying will continue. No matter the change for better or worse it will happen. I would prefer to be on the better side.

Life is about change. If you are not growing you are dying. Just look around nature for proof. The chaos of life is what makes life. It is the fabric of life. We are going to have good things and  bad things things happen and some we expect and some we don’t. THAT IS LIFE.

Change CYCLE

The challenge is to be in a place of learning, growing and accepting to make the dealing with whatever changes come easier. So first, for more understanding and knowledge I have shared some information about the change cycle to help us in understanding change.  It is knowledge that gives u freedom.


Motivations for Change 

Reactionary: Means you are responding to something . Like the call you got advising your child is being bullied or has bullied others.

Anticipatory: Perhaps you read alarming statistics about bullying and thought you would get this tool kit anticipating your child might have to deal with it at some point.

An Unknown Feeling: Like when your just not sure we want something different but we don’t know what it is that is motivating it.

Not Quite Right: we have all had that feeling that something needs to change because it is not quite right because we want our lives to be better.

Chances are if you are actively dealing with bullying you are in reactionary change. However, that feeling you got before you really knew what was going on that something was up with your child that would have been "not quite right". 

Levels of Change

Change can happen at different levels 

Fundamental change: this is when you want to change something fundamental to who you are at the core of your being. For example living a more simplistic life.  You want to change your mission or values and get more into alignment with who you are and can be based on changing a belief you have had your whole life.

Revelatory Change: Means there is some aspect of you that you finally want to let show. For example if you have always been a good singer but never publically and decide to go public. It could be showing the lighter side of ourself.

Habitual Change: this means you want or need to change a habit like quitting smoking or creating a new habit like getting exercise.

Steps to change

There are 6 steps to change:


1)   Recognizing Change is occurring:

2)   Factual Disengagement from the past

3)   Emotional disengagement from the past.

4)   Seeing the anticipated end

5)   The learning curve

6)   Internalizing the lessons

You may not recognize these steps however, we all go through these them as we progress through change whether we realize it or not. I have gone into greater detail and provided some helpful tools to deal with change and bullying in general in my Bully Free Tool kit.

Understanding Change

Hopefully, these basics help you understand change. If your child is involved in bullying you are in the middle of change. This may cause stress and bring up some unwanted feelings and reactions you need to deal with. Accepting what  is happening and why you are feeling some of the feelings about bullying is all part of dealing with bullying. Change is truly part of life.

Dealing with Bullying does not have to be. 

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More Suggested Reading:

Understanding Stress

Dealing with Bullying

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