Dealing with conflict

Dealing with Conflict  is an important skill for everyone to learn. Generally, bullying does not really involve conflict resolution as it is not about conflict. Bullying is about meeting needs or having contempt and intolerance

However, Parents may find as they problem solve and come up with solutions there are people who operate under false bullying beliefs or make excuses and you will face conflict. Conflict is simply a difference of opinion or a contrast indicating what is not quite right. You can do this. I understand it might be difficult as conflict often is but if you can make the small shift to understand that it is "not quite right" instead of making it a crisis things will go much smoother.

Sooo, take a deep breath. This might not be as bad as you think.

Many of us were never taught how to deal with conflict and will do just about anything to avoid it. However, when you are dealing with bullying it may become an issue and I guarantee there are areas in your life where some good conflict resolution strategies will benefit you at work and at home. If you are in a relationship with anyone eventually you will have conflict. These strategies will build your relationship through conflict instead of ripping it apart. 

Strategies for dealing with conflict

1) Get agreement about what the conflict is about?

2) Ask yourself:

     How much control do I have?

     How do I see my role?

     How much is my perception?  

     How much is my bias/judgements/prejudices           involved?

     Am I clear about the results I want?


3) What 3 behaviors could you change to reduce the conflict?


4) Ask the other person how you could defuse the conflict- Encourage honest feed back


5) Put yourself in their position- How do they view conflict? How do they view your commitment to reducing conflict?


6) Make a list of strengths you see in the other person


7) List 5 ways improving the relationship will help you.


8) Use fair Fighting Rules


9) If there is a difference in values always go with the higher value


10) Put your energy into things you can do rather than complain about things you can’t


11) Stay Positive


12) Be Flexible and willing to negotiate


13) Work through the problem solving process

Take note many of these strategies you can do on your own to make small shifts in your perception that will help ease the conflict resolution process. 

Remember not everyone plays by these rules but you have control over you and how you deal with conflict is what is important.

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More suggested reading:

Language of Desire

Better Life

More about bullying


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