Parenting Advice is a tricky subject. We all have different opinions on the way our children should be raised and often times one way is no better or worse than another.
Please take a look at the advice I am offering and use what works for you and your child and feel free to ignore the rest.
As a parent you may be feeling helpless and/or angry if your child is involved with Bullying as a victim or a perpetrator. You are completely normal and there are a lot of other feelings that go with bullying as well. It is important for us to understand our reaction so we can deal with it and be there for your child. You are also probably pretty concerned for your child as well.
As a Life Coach I like to look at things based on the results or outcomes expected. We all dream of our children being popular and accepted. We hope they will do well at school and become independent and healthy, successful people (who hopefully can take care of us in our old age ;)) We all want the same things for our children. So, if we all want the same things we are united…We are in this together.
We are in this together.
So, please, take a deep breath and know together we can work through this. Your child is not the first to deal with this issue. You are not alone. In fact there is probably more support out there than you think. If we all choose to look at this as a systemic issue the labels can fall away and we can look at real solutions. Whichever situation your child is in follow these 5 steps to begin the process of dealing with it.
1) Stay calm at all times. I know it is not easy. However, if you want to help and understand you have to be calm. Regardless of what your child tells you, the school tells you or what the neighbor saw or over heard…Stay Calm.
2) Listen carefully and don’t dismiss the report. Again, keep an open mind, listen more than you talk. You can be better prepared to take action if you listen and have all the facts.
3) Arm yourself with knowledge…Some kids think if they have a difference of opinion they are being bullied. Understanding the issue and what solutions might be available will help.
4) Ask open questions, Where, When, How often over what period of time, Who was involved. Know the warning signs...Your child may not want to talk. Be casual and try not to make it an interrogation. Take your child on an outing and talk about it in a conversational tone while your child is feeling relaxed and safe.
5) Be prepared to face some unpleasant facts. This is the hardest parenting advice for most to hear. No one likes to think their child is capable of pre-meditated cruelty and there is not a parent on Earth who would wish their child to be tortured by Bullies…However it happens and often…It is somebodies child…It very well could be yours.
This is only the beginning.
My Parenting Advice to you is get the whole story, arm yourself with knowledge, stay calm and be open minded. This begins the process of dealing with bullying on the right foot.
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