Is My Child being Bullied?
It is shown in research many more children will experience bullying than not. As parents we can begin the process of helping our kids by recognizing the warning signs of Bullying.
As a parent we may need to hear the difficult truth that our children may choose not to tell us about the bullying. They have many reasons for not telling.
REASONS KIDS Don't tell their parents
- They don’t want to be a “rat”.
- They are concerned it could make things worse.
- They feel hopeless and believe nothing will help.
- They believe nothing can help.
- They are ashamed because they believe maybe they deserve it…
- Maybe they told you and you said “it is a normal part of growing up” not realizing just how bad it was…
- they see you are already stressed with work and paying the bills and do not want to add to it
- they are worried about what you might say or do
The list for kids not telling parents can go on and on and on… HOWEVER, if we pay attention to the warning signs we will get an answer to Is my Child being bullied? whether they are telling us about it or not.
If you notice your child is reserved and no longer talking to you it is always a good idea to get the conversation started again whether or not there is bullying involved.
Warning signs of bullying
There are tell tale signs that your child is being bullied. If you notice these traits in your child. They may be warning signs of bullying.
- torn, damaged, or missing pieces of clothing or other belongings
- unexplained cuts, bruises, and scratches
- few, if any, friends
- Seem afraid of going to school and make up any excuse to avoid going
- Need extra time to get to school because they are taking the” Long” way
- Lose interest in doing school work or suddenly grades go down
- Seem sad, depressed or upset but won’t talk about it
- Miss school often complaining frequently of headaches, stomachaches, or other physical problems
- Have frequent bad dreams or trouble sleeping
- Experience a loss of appetite, sudden increase in appetite, causing loss or gain of weight abnormal for the age
- Always putting themselves down and not seeing the positive about themselves
- Stealing money and making up excuses that don’t make sense
- Wants to be alone and loses interest in hobbies
- Comes home hungry and/or desperately in need of the bathroom (avoiding the bathroom cause that is where they get bullied and hungry cause the bully trashes their lunch every day !)
- Reacts emotionally after a phone call or review of email
- Talks about peers in a negative way (they won’t come out and say these are the people bullying them but they will tell you with subtlety by demeaning them or using nasty words to describe them).
- If your child starts to do things out of character…your child begins bullying others, helps other students cheat on a test or does something sexually explicit…(often times at bullies insistence)
The Answer to Is my Child being bullied
Separately, any one of these behaviors can be
considered a “normal” part of growing up. We all go through moody growth
spurts, test the limits with our parents and try new things to see if they“fit” who we are and who we are becoming.
However, these Warning Signs of
Bullying rarely occur as isolated events.
You will notice a combination of a few of them if you pay attention. Don't dismiss them as normal growing up stuff or fall for other bullying beliefs that prevent us from taking action. Your child needs your help.
If you review the warning signs and realize the answer to Is my child being Bullied is YES. You need to take immediate action to help your child problem solve and cope with the effects of bullying.
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