Understanding Stress can help you deal with bullying.
Stress Management is complicated and yet we all experience Stress. I am 100% sure if your child has been identified as a bully or your child is being bullied you will experience Stress and it may not be the helpful kind.
The truth is you need some stress. It keeps life interesting. You need stress to fuel and energize you. Without it, you would be bored. Our mind and body are constantly under stress. The stress mechanism is your body-mind’s way of preparing you to handle situations and people by providing you with powerful energy.
Stress is a fact of life…However, whether or not it is good stress or bad stress depends on a few different factors.
We will use bullying as an example.
When you are dealing with your child and their bullying issue you will naturally experience stress.
If you are worried about your child and unsure how to help that means you believe the demands of the situation exceed your personal and social resources and knowledge which will cause you to experience negative Stress. The Stress will work against you or keep you stuck, have you over reacting and feeling miserable. Lets face it as parents we don’t always have the answers and if we experienced bullying as children it makes it that much worse as this can trigger all your old hurts too.
Stress Management Tip
You can reduce your Stress immediately by taking 5 minutes (or less) somewhere quiet…Even if you just need to excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. AND take 10 deep breaths…I mean deeeeeeepppp….feel your tummy expand as you inhale and your lungs fill and then hold for 3 seconds and slowly let it all out….AHHHHH…. Now you can think.
One is short term…like when you just find out about the bullying and you don’t know what to do…Your jaw tightens, you start breathing more shallow, your body goes into fight or flight mode and your reaction is completely instinctual. This is where the deep breathing comes in handy. We want to react to the situation in a constructive way that will help our children and move forward.
The Second type of stress is the long term stress. The more our brain is overloaded and we feel the situation is out of our control...the more our performance can suffer.
Dealing with bullying, especially if it has escalated over a long period of time like say bullying level three, will require you to be more aware of your be aware of the consequences of stress and manage it wisely.
This is going to require some time to resolve. Unfortunately, going through the process of dealing with the bullying can be over a long period of time and very stressful for everyone involved.
Understanding Stress is the first step in your stress management action plan. It is key to overcoming the potential emotional and physical damage that stress can cause.
My number one strategy is of course as above deep breathing and the next most important thing is to surround your self with supports. Don't try and go it alone. You and your child will both benefit if you surround yourself with people who will support you. Bullying likes isolation and ignorance. So make sure you get some help.
Stress Management is nothing new. Understanding stress and shifting your perception of the situation you are dealing with are key. You do not have to deal with this alone. Call a friend, family member or me...your coach and we can deal with bullying together.
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